Archive for October, 2009

A Funny Halloween Story (or Joke)

Saturday, October 31st, 2009

I wish I could credit the guy who wrote this joke because it will get a smile out of you (or a groan) but I got it via the internet and so it’s one of those viral jokes everybody gets but nobody knows where it came from. Enjoy!

A man is walking home alone late one foggy Halloween night, when behind him he hears:

BUMP…

BUMP…

BUMP…

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.

BUMP…

BUMP…

BUMP…

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.

FASTER…

FASTER..

BUMP…

BUMP…

BUMP……

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping.

clappity-BUMP…

clappity-BUMP….

clappity-BUMP…

on his heels, as the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.

Bumping and clapping toward him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket…

and,

(hopefully you’re ready for this!!!)

The coffin stops

A Halloween Story

Friday, October 30th, 2009

As an experiment, the folks over at Anotherealm.com tried doing a ’shared world’ anthology. Basically, that’s when a handful of writers all try writing stories about the same place and time. They also can use several common characters but each is creating his/her own unique story. The experiment involved writing about a Halloween party. Well, three stories got done and they are now up for viewing. And since they are about a Halloween Party, this week seems like the best time to be reading them. So, if you’re interested, click the link below to read the three stories that got done. See if you can spot where the stories overlap (one writer’s characters walk past or interact with another writer’s characters). And enjoy.

http://anotherealm.org/modules/AMS/index.php?storytopic=14

Soup For You

Thursday, October 22nd, 2009

If you’re a fan of the old Seinfeld comedy program you might remember the infamous “Soup Man.” A cranky misanthrope whose tag line was: “No, soup for you!” Well, this week there was plenty of “soup” to go around. No, not the lobster bisque or potato leek kind but the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” kind.

I just got word that my story: “The Girl For Me” will be published in December as part of “Chicken Soup for the Soul: True Love.” The book will be available at all your major retailers like Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Borders, etc. Cool, huh?

What’s just as nice is the fact that at the time I was submitting this story, I discovered that the Chicken Soup people were looking for stories about “teachers.” I know, or am related to, quite a few teachers so I immediately put the word out that there was an opportunity for them to tell one of their many really good stories.

One friend of mine said that she had a story but wasn’t sure if she could make it work. I asked to hear it and after hearing it told her she had to write it up and submit. She did. And guess what? She got in! Her story will be appearing in “Chicken Soup for the Teacher’s Soul.”

Now lest anyone start thinking that the Chicken Soup people will publish just about anything, that’s not true. Not only are many professional writers submitting to these books but there are professional comedians, famous people, talk show hosts, etc. who contribute. It ain’t that easy to get your story in there.

But once in a while the stars will line up properly, the wind will pick up from the east, and a sprinkle of pixie dust will land on your printer. And when that happens – Soup For You!

2012 — The Year Nothing Happens?

Tuesday, October 13th, 2009

People LOVE doomesday sceanarios. I don’t know why. They just do. In the year 666 Europeans thought the world was going to end. (Mark of the beast and all that.) Same thing come the year 1666. The same thing every time a century ends and a new century begins. There was the Y2K bug back in 2000. I was in computers back then and though it was a pain in the butt for a lot of programmers (many of whom went on to make huge amounts of money on all the overtime they had to put in), nobody really thought the world would end. Maybe a black out or two but nothing nobody couldn’t handle. Etc., etc., etc.

The latest hot button is now the year 2012. According to all those people who have been waiting for a disaster, that’s the year the Mayan calendar says the world is going to end. They say this is true cause if you read the prophesies of Nostradamus (who wrote all if his prophesies in poetic verse that makes sense only AFTER the event has happened) they both agree that the world is going to end.

Of course, problem is that the Mayan calendar doesn’t say that world is going to end. It only says that a very important cycle will have come to an end and there is a tremendous change coming. This, of course, means the world is going to end, right? Change can’t be good. Change can’t mean universal health care, a cure for cancer, world peace, racial equality, peace in the middle east, somebody other than the Yankees winning the World Series, nothing like that, right?

People, we’re so weird.

Well, there was an article on the net yesterday that talks about what the Mayan calendar does and does not say. I’ll give you the link at the bottom of this post. They actually interviewed a guy who is Mayan. (Imagine that.) And he pretty much says that other people are projecting their fears onto his people’s calendar. He rejects the idea that 2012 is the end of the world and even makes the very practical point of saying that his people are more concerned with the present drought they are suffering than any claims of the end of the world. If you ask me, he seems like a pretty level-headed guy.

So if you want to read what the Mayans think of their own calendar, click on the this link. It might put some people’s minds at ease.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2009-10-10-2012-apocalypse_N.htm?csp=34

Sad News — Pet Rescue Miami is Closing

Tuesday, October 6th, 2009

Those of you who have been following the stories of “Dustin” know that we got him from Pet Rescue in Miami. Well, sadly, Pet Rescue is being forced to close their doors. This is the email that Kathy Cremer (a volunteer at the shelter) has sent out.

TO ALL OF MY DEAR FRIENDS THAT HAVE HELPED ME POST MY PET RESCUE MIAMI SHELTER DOGS OVER THE PAST 4 YEARS……….I AM THE BEARER OF THE SAD NEWS OF THE SHELTER’S CLOSING

THIS HAS BEEN A NO-KILL RESCUE/SHELTER/SANCTUARY FOR THE PAST 27 YEARS. SAVING THOUSANDS OF DOGS AND CATS. PET RESCUE DID NOT DISCRIMINATE, DID NOT JUST TAKE THE ONES THAT WOULD EASILY BE ADOPTED, BUT TOOK WHICHEVER ANIMALS CROSSED THE THRESHOLD.

DUE TO THE ECONOMY, THE PAST FEW YEARS HAVE SEEN A DRASTIC REDUCTION IN MONEY AND VOLUNTEERS, AND PET RESCUE CAN NO LONGER SURVIVE. THIS RESCUE HAVEN IS CLOSING DOWN IN THE NEXT TWO MONTHS. WE STILL HAVE 15 DOGS AND OVER 100 CATS THAT LIVE HERE. SOME ARE VERY ADOPTABLE, SOME NOT AS ADOPTABLE BECAUSE OF THEIR AGE.
BUT ALL DESERVE TO HAVE A FOREVER HOME

I HAVE MADE A LIST WITH PASTED PIX OF THE 15 DOGS (THE CATS ARE TOO NUMEROUS TO LIST BUT I WILL BE SENDING A FEW AT A TIME IN SEPARATE EMAILS). I KNOW THAT WE ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES WITH DESPERATE ANIMALS, BUT PLEASE JUST LOOK AND SEE IF YOU CAN PLACE ANY OF THEM AND PLEASE SEND THIS LIST AROUND. WE ARE NOT ASKING FOR OTHER RESCUES TO MAKE ROOM BUT ARE HOPING TO PLACE THEM ALL IN A HOME OR LONGTERM FOSTER. SOME OF THESE DOGS HAVE SPENT 10+ YEARS AT THE RESCUE AND THIS IS THEIR HOME, SO IT WOULD BE TRAUMATIC TO PLACE THEM IN A SHELTER/KENNEL ENVIRONMENT WHERE THEY WOULD BE CAGED.

GOLDEN OLDIES-
Ginger( mix? 50lb) and Louie (shep mix 65lbs) 12 and 14 yo, lived their lives at PR together. Ginger is a tripod. She loves Louie but no other dogs or cats. They are both loving with people and totally non-aggressive.

Heather(Beagle mix 5olbs) 13 yo, lived her life at PR, loves the volunteers. Is very shy and picky about the people she loves. Probably not good with other dogs, used to run in a pack but all have died. No cats or kids. But a quiet home with relaxed adults would make her happy. She loves to walk on the leash for short walks. No picture.

Junior 14 (akita 50 lbs.), lived his entire life at PR…. He is loving to the people he knows. He shakes and is mostly deaf and doesn’t see well. Probably doesn’t have a long time in this world, but he still knows when I come to give walks and hangs at the door whining until I get him. Don’t think he will be good with other dogs or cats, but not sure since he has been alone for many years.

Sport- 8yo lab mix. Friendly, happy guy. About 50 lbs. No cats though. Gets along with other dogs.

Samson- 9 yo yellow labrador. Sweet as can be. Good with other dogs. No cats though, not too old to chase them.

Blackie- 8yo black lab female. Good with cats and other dogs.

YOUNG ADULTS:

Heidi -3 yo shep mix(45 lbs) who is so timid that she won’t come near you, she is ok with some dogs if they don’t jump on her and want to play. She has come around to most of us and will let you pet her and gives you her paw, she needs a very patient and loving gentle family. An older person/s would be perfect. No cats.

Roxie 3 yo 30 lb little black mixed terrier. Very frightened of people until she knows them. Very submissive though and just runs to hide when strangers come. She has made leaps of progress at Pet Rescue in the 2 years that she has been here. Good with other dogs and cats.

BEAUTY AND HONEY- mommy and daughter yellow lab/ridgeback mixes that are 2 and 4 yo. They have been at PR 2 years but are extremely timid and don’t show well, run and hide when people come look at them. They are very sweet and non-aggressive to humans, attached at the hip. Not good with cats,have been good with male dogs, but together they don’t let any other dog into their pack.

HUNTER- 2 yo and 40 lbs, shep/spitz/maybe chow black. He loves the volunteers and really wants to please, but he is a very nervous dog and if a person he doesn’t know makes a darting movement or tries to pet him on his lower back, and he thinks they mean him harm, he will turn around and do a quick growl/snarl(never to me, but to those he doesn’t know) He has never bitten. He shows lots of crazy aggression to other dogs from his kennel, but when off leash with dogs he has been fine and plays. He wants to be the ALPHA. He really needs an experienced owner that will work with him. He wants to be loved so much and has a lot of love to give. He loves to play fetch and go on walks. I don’t think he should be placed in a home with children. Young adults and older. He is not good with cats.
He comes with an obedience training package from Edel Miedes, k9 advisor.

Very Adoptables:

Boone-75 lb hound/rhod.rideback. Under 2 yo Handsome guy,loves attention. Very active and strong and powerful. Is having obedience training. Free training lesson in the home with adopter. Don’t think he is good with cats. He is not animal aggressive.

Venus- 35 lb female labbish mix. 1year. Good with cats, dogs and kids.

Zack-45lb male lab/mix- just under one year. Good with cats, dogs and kids.
Claude 7month old ?mix about 30 lbs…probably grow to 40lb. Very gentle but playful pup. Good wi everyone .

Troy-under 1yo lab/terrier mix. Good with everyone.

If you know of anyone who might be interested in any of these dogs just go to: WWW.PETRESCUEMIAMI.COM for more information and to contact the shelter about the dog. These guys need all the help we can give them.

Hector the Inspector

Monday, October 5th, 2009

Having worked at the SPCA it’s only natural that people send me animal stories. It’s also only natural that I end up aware of a lot of the animal related stories that are out there. So, it’s no surprise, that I was very aware of the Michael Vick controversy when Mr. Vick was caught and convicted of running a dog fighting ring.

Dog fighting is a pretty heinous crime. If you don’t know the details of how one is run then consider yourself lucky. The details aren’t pretty and you won’t feel good about your fellow human beings after you learn them. The worse part is, of course, the abuse the poor animals go through. They don’t know any better. They had no choices. And even after a ring is broken up they often remain the victims because they are deemed too dangerous to live – and they are euthanized.

That’s where the Michael Vick story takes an unexpected turn. The judge in the case decided that Michael should have to pay for rehabilitating his dogs. As a result a bunch of them got a second chance at life.

And that’s where this post gets good. People like sending me the stories of how well the Michael Vick dogs are doing. Now, remember, these are pit bulls that were trained to tear each other limb from limb. And many of them are turning out to be great dogs. Hector is one of those dogs.

Here’s the link to the video of the story. A friend of mine sent it to me. It does a perfect job of showing off what can happen when an animal is taken in by the right person. If you didn’t know Hector’s history you wouldn’t have guessed he was a fighting dog. This is a feel good story so go ahead and click the link – and feel good.

http://www.fox21online.com/animaltales/vicks-victim-enjoying-new-life-minnesota